I am not talking about big things. I am talking about seats – offering the seat you are sitting on in a bus to a woman standing nearby or not offering it. In principle, men should offer the seat to the standing women – especially if she is pregnant, or carrying an infant or is old. In practice, it’s rare.
I would rather begin with the incident I witnessed this evening. I was on a crowded bus returning home from office. I was standing. In next bus stop, a woman stepped onto the bus and she was carrying an infant. She looked around to look if somebody offers her the seat. But none did and she stood. Five minutes later, an elderly man offered her his seat.
So what’s so special in the incident? Nothing, because it happens everyday. One thing that always makes me wonder is: no matter how long a woman with baby stands, I have never seen another woman offering her the seat. Today too, the woman with the baby was standing very near to a middle-aged lady, but I don’t think she even thought of offering her seat (as far as a few other men concerned they looked around in anticipation that somebody else will stand offering seat). She continued chatting with her friend.
Why woman doesn’t offer her seat to pregnant or baby-carrying woman? May some have offered but I have never seen in my life. I think this is because they think its men who should offer the seat? True, but when no men do so, isn’t it their duty to do so? (Because they know better the difficulties of standing with a baby).
As far as I am concerned, I have made a rule: I offer my seat to the woman if she is old, or is pregnant, or is carrying a baby but not if she steps onto the bus in the bus park where the bus leave every 10 minutes. (No wonder, I also look for two or three minutes if anybody else is more generous).
I like to end with another incident: I was 19 at that time returning from a relative’s home. I was sitting and a middle-aged woman got into the bus. I offered her my seat (we tend to be too principle-following in teenage) despite that I leg was aching because of an injury. After a few stops, the man sitting on her side stood to get down. I motioned to sit, but the lady promptly put her bag on the empty seat and called her brother who was standing nearby in the seat.
0 responses to “Offering or Not Offering”
Nice anecdote Ujjwal.People usually are not as generous as you are and women are always an expectant of male-mercy.
If one treats all women as if they were their beloved mother, or sister, or daughter, and all men as if they were their beloved father, or brother, or son… and if we all concentrate on what we ourselves are doing, rather than judging others for what they are doing, perhaps things would improve. We can hope and we can try.
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