A must read for non-alcoholic (so that you would never say no to the alcoholic parties because if are tired of people who drink and enjoy) and also for alcoholic (so that you will understand you were not enjoying yourself but also entertaining people around you).
AEGNAAP – Part I
Disclaimer
This guide is based on personal experience and may not apply for anyone other. Nobody mentioned here are named so anyone must not think about dragging me by my collar for opening his secrets.
Thanks
To all those who have invited me to such parties and those who have enjoyed drinking in front of me.
Preface
As a non-alcoholic, I am asked for many times how I enjoy in such parties where alcohol is flowing. For most of those people, drinking brings enjoyment. I am not opposing the idea but what I am proposing is watching people drinking and remembering that days after gives the non-alcoholic much more enjoyment.
Chapter One: Incidents
My Friend’s Girlfriend
One of my friends in my early days as journalism used to tell me a lot about his girlfriend. I heard so much about her that I started wondering if I know more about her than anybody else. My friend used a lot of adjectives to describe her and one-day when I suddenly remembered all it, the poster of Samatha Fox on my room started looking ugly.
We got invited to a party with abundant of free alcohol. I didn’t count how much did my friend drank, but he told me when dinner was announced that he was not feeling hungry. While I had my dinner, he sat on a chair with his eyes closed. After the party, I literally dragged him out of the party, put him inside a taxi and took him to the place where he wanted to go.
On the way, he told me that everything he was telling me about his girlfriend was false and in fact he didn’t even have a girlfriend. He wanted one, but nobody was there so started long ago telling all about her. Think of the excitement on the next few days when I met him.
My Big Brother
As I was getting out of the party, someone I have never ever seen approached me and told me not to go. “Why shouldn’t I?,” I asked. “Because I don’t want to drink without my little brother here,” he answered me.
“I am not your little brother, I don’t even know you.”
“I know I have drank a lot, but I don’t like my little brother not recognizing me.”
“But who are you? I don’t know you?”
“I am your big brother.”
“I don’t remember any.”
“Damm, you are playing games because you know I am drank.”
“I am not playing games. I really don’t know you.”
He kept quiet for a minute. Then embraced me and took me to a place where there was more light, looked at my face for a long time and said: “Sorry yaar, I thought you were someone else. Please forgive me.”
“No problem,” I smiled.
“But you should forgive me,” he said. “You should drink a glass otherwise I will think that you haven’t forgiven me.”
Now, how was that? I thought for a minute. “Ok my dear big brother, you stay here, I will bring a glass for me.” I left him and had never seen him again.
Chapter 2: Watch and Listen
The golden rule of enjoying alcoholic party is: watch and listen.
Watch people after they took two or more glasses. Don’t even bother to wait for people who are drinking little and slowly. Go for those whose eyes are wondering for the waiter with glasses. They will start talking interesting things when they eyes go red. Red eyes are green signals: listen them. They will joke, and will suddenly turn to some heartening things. They will start handshaking and hugging, and will praise you and scold you.
If the party has some singing party, there will be more enjoyment. One drunkard will ask for a sentimental number and other will start scolding him for requesting such song in so romantic situation. “Wrong time, damm him.” The other will go even further, and will start singing his favorite number and a few around him will clap and dance.
If there is no such band to sing, don’t worry, there are plenty of those in the drunk-group who know singing without instrument. They will loudly or quietly sing.
Don’t forget to watch around in corner, you will always meet some people who feel it’s a waste of time to talk, sing and dance. They rather chose to stay alone drinking one after another. At the end of the party, there are high chances that you will see some of them sleeping.
More in Part II
